Panicked, panicking, will be panicking.. ..

Writing? The only power that moves me, that makes me panic.

Yes. I am panicking as I am pushing my thoughts out from my head and into this post. I was panicking the first time I sat down took my pen and started putting whatever was going on in that tinny brain of mine into the blank paper in front of me. My feelings. My thoughts. It is like putting me into words. How could I do that? How could I not do that? What is the way to do so? To perfectly put me into a paper? Would the words I know be enough? Am I that describable? Am I that easy to simply be expressed in my vocabulary? Am I that complicated not to be described with few words? Ugh! I really did not know back then nor now, nor would I expect to know any time in the future.. ..

Writing equals panicking equals bliss!

Whenever I open my laptop or hold my pen and try to put me, dissecting myself into sentences, into words and eventually into letters.. ..my heart beat increases, my fingers are tremble, my temperature goes up. I do not know why I freak out whenever I start writing. OH! This is the thing about writing that brings joy to my day and peace to my life. I love it when my muscles are intense, when I feel my blood circulating to every end of my body. The hotness within my heart expanding to my arms, down my back to my legs. My God! I do not want to continue. I would have if I could have! I love the fact that I panic, cause it only happens when I write, when I put whatever is on my mind into words, actually even when I think of writing.. I get that feeling.. that I cannot explain. That I will never be able to explain..

I love being in this place, I love it so much that I cannot wait to get my hands on my pen or my keyboard. Panicking is my joy! Panicking is my relief!

 

Submitted for the Daily Prompt: Panicked.

 

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